Broken

This blog post is going to be a little different from some of my previous ones. Previously I have shared a part of my personal journal and then reflected on that. Today I am going to talk about being Broken.

I mentioned in last week's blog post about after my great grandfather had passed, becoming angry and bitter towards God. I had been up all night praying for him, and I found that next morning he had passed away, which was unexpected to me. This is a situation in life I remember so clearly, because it is the first time I remember being angry with God.

Have you ever had something that happened in your life that you didn’t understand, so you blamed God for it? I have been there more times than I would like to admit. In our human nature, it seems that we always need someone to blame for our problems, and sometimes we allow ourselves to blame God.

Just because we don’t understand something, doesn’t always mean that we were done wrong. We can find comfort in His Word when He says His ways are higher than our ways.

8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

Many years had gone by since my first experience with becoming bitter and angry. I didn’t realize it, but I had fallen back into that same place as before. There were situations in my family, and in our ministry that had happened, and I was hurting. It seemed that everything was going wrong all at once. Been there? In the midst of all of that, I became bitter and angry again. However, I didn’t quite realize it. That may sound crazy, but our hearts can be deceitful. Just because someone may have done something to you that hurt you, doesn’t mean that you responded correctly. It doesn’t mean that you, yourself were without sin.

Realizing what is hindering you from going deeper in your relationship with God, and others, maybe even your spouse, I believe is really the first step in healing. Ask God to reveal to you the things that are hindering you, the things that are hidden, and He will. It may not be pleasant, but it will allow you to heal, and become a better person and Christian. It is easy to see the wall or stumbling blocks in others' lives, but sometimes it isn’t so easy to see what is holding us back. When it becomes clear what the problem is, it often becomes more clear what area of our lives needs work.

What I am really talking about is being broken. Maybe someone really has done something wrong to us, but we have allowed some other things to slip in with the brokenness. We can allow our brokenness to cause us to become bitter, resentful, towards God, or we can allow it to draw us closer to Him.

Sometimes we can miss the miracles that God has done in our life because we allowed ourselves to focus on the hurt, and not the blessing that God was about to pour out. We can allow bitterness to creep in and fill the gap in between the broken pieces where God should be.

I remember one time praying, God what is going on? I am hurting so deeply. It seems that it has been trial after trial for so long. Will things ever get better? I felt at that moment that He gave me a song. A part of it is

You are restoring

You are restoring me

Every broken piece

Is now my testimony

Everything that you have been through, has made you the person you are today. You can allow it to make you better. It is your testimony! I know that through my brokenness I have learned who the God I serve truly is.

I encourage you today in your brokenness to draw closer to him. God is the mender and the restorer! Forgive those that hurt you, and yourself. It will set you free.

And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. Mark 11:25

Sometimes it is in our brokenness, we are the closest to Him. Let Him heal your heart today.