It Couldn't Happen Without Him or Her

Culture shifts, culture “norms”, culture praise, are all things that have been on a rise the past several years. Maybe it is because I am getting older, but it seems that society seems to be changing quickly.

Men and Women’s unique Godliness is being perverted and twisted. It is now accepted and praised to identify differently than what you really are.

A loss of respect for each other as human beings, our marriages, and Godly designed roles and purpose.

There was a video that popped up on my Facebook not long ago. It stated in the video, “You are such a good dad…” It showed all of the things that mom did, and then dad took the kids to the park and someone said, you’re such a good dad.

The point of this video was that mom did everything and no one noticed, but dad did one thing or maybe the same thing that mom has done many more times, and he got praised.

A lot of it is meant as all fun and games, right? If you ask me, it is introducing a spirit into our homes and families that promotes ungodliness. It makes you laugh as you relate to the battle of flesh and spirit fighting to rule our souls. The mixed messages that are sent, confusion from the enemy, that states there is no difference from male/female, you can be whatever you want to be, and women are superior; at the same time stating how men and women have these vast differences in ways they clean the house, care for the children, work, and I could go on. The world acknowledges the differences while trying to pervert it to say there is not a difference. Trying to promote that women don't need to fill the nurturing role of a mother as a parent, but also stating men cannot do it like women can.

Your place in marriage as a woman isn’t to be a lesser or the worthless part, as social media can tend to portray Christian beliefs and values related to marriage.

Submission doesn’t mean worthless. If you and your husband are both following after the Lord, then you are both submitted to someone. You will both serve each other in unseen ways. If you are in ministry, then you will both have unseen parts. We are firm believers in being a team. You want one of us in ministry, you get both. Every blog post, every song sang, every message preached, and every prayer prayed. You may only “see” one of us, but you can be assured that the other one is serving in that same circumstance, unseen.

This isn’t a competition. Marriage and ministry is a team effort.

We should celebrate and rejoice when our spouse does something that gets recognized! Not always fighting to be the one on top and being seen. We should prefer our spouse. We should celebrate their victories, celebrate their accomplishments, and be an encouragement. If all you do is grumble and complain when others compliment or recognize your spouse, it will be harder for your spouse to find space to compliment and encourage you. This goes both ways!

What are some things that your spouse does that no one typically notices, maybe even you?

Promises given to Abraham, included Sarah. His seed could be blessed, but it couldn’t be completed without her womb.

Ladies, you can do many things, but it is important that we identify as what God designed us to be. We must...

Look like a lady.

Talk like a lady.

Act like a lady.

You might not speak in front of a large crowd, but you can support your husband who does. If you do, then read the above statements, you are still a lady. We cannot let the confusion of the world seep into the church. We cannot allow gender roles to be confused when we are allowed opportunity.

So what is your place as a woman?

Right where God places you. Not where you push yourself to be. Where He directs you. There is a difference between a God given burden, calling, and where you desire to be. Submitted to your husband, and the spiritual authority in your life.

We often see the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, but He was also the God of Sarah, Rebekah, and Rachel.

Now, your work may not all be documented, but it couldn’t have happened without you. It may not always be the focus, but the job cannot be completed without you.

You are needed.

You are essential.

Are we looking for temporary, earthly praise or a difference in eternity?

If there is a teacher needed, teach.

If there is a piano player needed, play.

There is a prayer warrior needed, pray.

Complaining, comparing, having a bad attitude will rob you of fulfillment in your personal life and ministry.

Sometimes we get overwhelmed, sometimes we fail, sometimes our spouse fails us, but we cannot use those times as excuses to let our character be perverted to what this world promotes.

There are some things that we can change and there are some things that we cannot, but we can always choose to try.

If it is not documented, will you still do it?

If you don’t get credit, will you still do it?

If it only makes a difference in your child’s life, will you still do it?

A clean home, nutritious meals, an encouraging word, a willing heart, prayer, that may not get credit on social media, but it makes a difference in your life, your child's, your husband's.

Where is my why?

Are you taking your child to the park to be seen, and post on social media? I have been to parks and parents take a picture with their child for a second to spend the rest of the time sitting on their phones, not paying attention.

Who gets the credit? If there is a church dinner, you did more work… then at the next service the thank you from the platform goes out, but your name is not mentioned. It will show you where your heart is. Were you upset because you didn’t get the credit, or were you rejoicing because there was a successful event.

You will never go beyond where you are right now if you are always looking to be seen, and get the credit from others.

What is seen is the musicians performance, but not the hours of practice.

What is seen is the preacher sitting on the platform and speaking in the microphone, but not the hours of study, prayer, and fasting.

What is seen is the thank you, but not the preparation.

The degree is seen, but not the blood, sweat, and tears that led to those few letters behind their name.

Eliminate competition in marriage. Eliminate competing in ministry. Eliminate competing to be seen.

If you always need compliments then you won’t go very far. There is more criticism than compliments. The real ministry is in the unseen.

If you find yourself always complaining about the “unseen” areas of ministry, and are not where you feel you should be in your ministry, start thanking God for the parts that are not “perfect”. The dirty work, so to speak, start rejoicing in that, and put the negativity and complaining away. Your heart may just change, and you may just find that place in Him that He has given you a desire for is a little closer than you think.

The marriage cannot happen without him and her.

The conception cannot happen without him and her.

The miracle birth cannot happen without him and her.

The promise God has for your life cannot happen if you are not completely surrendered and submitted. Whether you are married or single today, God has a specific plan and place for you. Don’t let your character or attitude be perverted by the world’s definition of acceptable. Rejoice in the unseen. Thrive as who God designed you to be.

*We do not support abuse of power or authority in marriage or ministry. This is written to support individuals looking to go deeper in Christ with healthy relationships.