What I Thought Was Dead is Here Again

What I thought was dead is here again, I need You.

Have you ever gone through something, and you thought that trial was over. The situation you had faced was out of the way, it was done, it was dead. Then before too much longer, and here it is again. The thing that you thought was defeated has seemed to revive.

You relive the pain, while facing the same thing in a new way.

Maybe you have prayed for something for so long. Then there is a change in that situation, and you think, “Finally, this is what I have been praying for”, for it to just remain the same or get worse. What you thought was an answer to prayer, hurts more than you ever thought it could.

Me too.

Help me to grow in pain

There are things we pray for, that after a while, can become discouraging to even try to pray for. We become content, and “deal” with how it is. For example, a broken family relationship. We have prayed for restoration, and it hasn’t happened. There are toxic situations that are best for us to distance ourselves from for our mental health and sanity so to speak, yes. However, sometimes there are things that we suppress in our lives so that we do not have to face them or experience the hurt again. I have found that whenever I do this healing never truly happens. I suppress that hurt and pretend it doesn’t exist because it causes pain to face it. Pain isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes the healing process is painful.

I have found myself not praying for these things. It is easy for me to pray for you, your lost loved one, your hurting situation, your healing, your… but when it comes to myself, sometimes those things are hard to pray for. Sometimes it feels easier not to pray for those things. Then there is no expectation of it getting better. It doesn’t matter if it doesn't happen. You don’t put hope into anything. Then again, healing never fully happens, because you never truly gave it a chance.

Every time you pray for it, it is just a reminder that there is a problem.

I may be only speaking to myself today… but PRAY ANYWAYS. We can blame God all we want, but if we don’t ever allow Him to work, that is on us.

Pray for the broken family relationship.

Pray for the impossible situation.

Pray for the hurt you have faced the last ten years.

Pray.

When you pray for those most impossible situations, it may hurt a little bit, but it allows God to heal you. It doesn’t mean that the outcome will be how you think it should be. However, it does allow Him to give you true peace. Don’t push off God healing you to another day because it seems too hard to face.

I won’t face another battle without You. Take Your place, manifest Your ways.

Pray for the impossible. Let God heal You in the process. Facing that impossible situation in prayer will allow your heart to heal. Who knows, you may just get a miracle in the situation you have been praying about.

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I remember when

The walls went up

I was feeling numb

God, I can’t go there again

I need You, I need You

What I thought was dead

Is here again, I need You

I’m Questioning what is even real

Can you come to me again

Show yourself to me again

I remember when

You picked me up and

Gave me love

God, can You do that again

What I thought was true

Has changed again

I need You

*Written while in the midst of one of the trials we are discussing today.

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Philippians 4:6-7

6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

My husband often preaches about the scripture that talks about a mustard seed of faith. Everyone always focuses on the size of the seed, but never focuses on the fact that it is a seed. A seed takes time to grow. You have to sow, cultivate, and then harvest. It isn’t always immediate. Plant your seed in prayer today. The prayer may not be answered immediately, but your heart can heal and you can get peace immediately.